The particle

Mitevma of Vez

ENON I

Orunt, where I lived, was a great city; there were no bigger cities in our region. Many people of different nations lived there. Some of them secretly worshiped gods other than Radiant. My father told me to beware of them, for the soldiers were looking for them, and they would kill me together with them. When my father died, his brother drove me out of my father’s house. He gave me food, two fingers of gold, and a knife, and told me to leave. I left Orunt and found a house on the outskirts, where an old man lived. Then I returned to the city and bought good clothes, a good knife and good food. Then I came to the old man’s house again and when I entered it, I gave the owner everything that I had bought. I gave it to him and asked permission to live in his house. He did not want me to stay and began to shout to drive me out. But I didn’t want to leave. And then he threw everything I had brought at me, and hit me with a rope with a stone at the end, and injured my face. Then I hit him, and I crippled him. I stayed with him, I was doing everything in his house that he had done before, and besides, I also accompanied him because he felt bad. Two days later a young man came and told me, «Let me in, this is the house of my relative.» He entered, went to the old man and gave him half a finger of silver; then asked him about me. The old man asked him to leave and not return until I left his house. When I heard that, I said, «I will not leave; I raised my hand against the owner not for leaving this dwelling now.» Then the young man told me, «If you don’t leave tomorrow, then I will tie your braids to a stick and drag your head through the mud.” Then he left. And I thought that, probably, he would not return alone, and therefore decided to leave the next morning. At night, someone began to knock hard at the door; I didn’t want to open it, but the old man ordered, and I opened it. Then the young man came in and said, «I have come again to hide.» When I heard that, I realized that the house was bad; and I took everything that I had, and left immediately. By morning I went far away from Orunt; and when the sun rose, I sat down by the river. I was sitting and thinking; but suddenly I saw a snake slithering onto my hips. I was frightened for I knew that it was a venomous snake; and I was sitting in fear without movements. And I saw another snake slithering onto my shoulder; after I saw two more. Then I closed my eyes and screamed. The snakes were slithering all over me; and I fell on my back. And they were slithering onto my feet, my arms, my stomach, my chest and my face, and they were also slithering onto my throat – but they did not bite me. It continued for a long time, and then they left me. I was lying, I was afraid to move; and soon someone told me, «Do not be afraid, get up.» Then I opened my eyes and sat down, and I saw an old man next to me, and there were two young women with him. I asked if they had delivered me from the snakes; they answered that they had not, although they had seen them. Then I gave them my food, and they gave me theirs. Then the man asked me about myself, and I told him about myself. And he called me with him, to his dwelling; I went with him, and he led me to a house made of thick branches smeared with clay. The women went away; and then I asked him, «They are your wives or your sisters, aren’t they?», and he answered, «No.» Then he asked me my name, and I replied that I was called Vez; he said that he was called Gonel; then we entered the house. I slept there, and in the morning I spoke to Gonel, I asked him if he knew why snakes in that area have such strange behavior. He replied that he had never seen that before, and had never heard from anyone. And then he said, «There is no deed without a heart. I know a person who knows a lot about all kinds of creatures, and I can lead you to him if you want.» I did not know whether I should ask about what had happened to me; but later, I got scared that the same could happen again. I agreed and asked to take me to that knowledgeable person. Gonel led me, and we came to a large rocky hill covered with thickets. Gonel stood at its foot and shouted, he was calling out for Oyor, and then he went away and left me there. Soon a very old man came down to me and asked me to follow him. I followed him; he sat down by a tree, and I sat face to face with him. And he asked me why Gonel had brought me, saying, «This one will not do anything stupid.» Then I told him what had happened to me and waited for an answer; he said, «Probably, you will die.» Then he said, «Maybe you won’t die; but your life will not be the same. You came from Orunt: and there you will die. And the snakes mark you; it means that their spirit marks you – I don’t know why.» He thought, and then said, «If their spirit needs you, then it should be good. You came to me – and I want to do the best: therefore, you need to try for the spirit.» Then I said, «Leave me. Thank you for the words about Orunt, and I will never return there; but I see that you know bad gods.» He answered, «There are no good and bad gods. Each of them has his own, and to each of them, people give what they want to give. I do the same — and therefore I am good for every creature; only some people are afraid of me. Listen to me; I will do what is best. It is useless to take away what the spirits have chosen; and no one needs you anymore – but the spirit marked you. It won’t be bad: I know.» But I left him and went east to get away from Orunt. After a short time, I saw that a snake lay in my path; when I turned around, I saw that others were following me. I got scared and took out the knife; but some people appeared with clubs and spears, and ordered me to follow them. I followed them, and they led me to a spacious place among the trees. There they undressed me and tied my arms and legs with hard snake skins. They put me on the ground, walked away, and watched. Soon the snakes began to slither; they were slithering over me and were laying on me, but did no harm me. I wondered if the old man was right that I would die in Orunt. The snakes did nothing to me, and soon disappeared; then people who gathered around untied me, and led me, hitting me with clubs. They led me to the lake, and then they led me further on; and night came, and then morning; and only then we came to a house of a man who came out and started looking at me. They told him, «We thought that our god needs this young man; but now we do not know what to do with him, and we cannot kill him. Take him: maybe he is one of yours.» Then they left and left me in front of him. He called me to his dwelling, gave me clothes and food, and then allowed me to sleep. Then he said, «Go away; I am not holding you.» I asked him not to drive me away, but to help me find a dwelling. And I settled near his dwelling and became his friend. It was like that for over a year; it was a good time. And I saw that that man, called Deskn, was strange and overly kind, and did a lot of incomprehensible things. He often left, and was missing for several days; sometimes a man or a woman would come to him and would stay with him for one or two days. Once I approached his house and called him, and he came out to me with an old man. He pointed to me and asked, «Do we need this one?”; he replied, «No, we do not need him.» One more year passed; and one day I saw how five soldiers from Orunt came to the house of Deskn, and there was a priest with them. They shouted and threw axes; when Deskne came out, they threw spears at him. He backed away, falling and jumping, and then went up to them and hit the air with his fist, and then again: two soldiers fell from that. Others took out their swords, and the priest threw a stone at him. Then I showed myself and approached them to ask not to kill Deskn; and when one of the soldiers saw me, he stabbed me in the stomach with a sword. I fell and did not see or hear anything again. Then I saw myself in a house, and next to me I saw some men and women. And when I saw Deskna, I told him, «I thought you were not like that.» When I got up, I learned that I had been lying for only eight days; and I saw the wound almost completely healed. I talked to those people whom I saw near me, and asked them if they honored bad gods; but they didn’t want to answer me. Soon Deskn came and took me away; and he told me, «Now go away, for we gave you everything we could.» I answered, «Because of you, a warrior struck me with a sword, – therefore, now heal my thoughts. Tell me who you are – for I am surprised with myself: I know that you may be worshiping bad gods – but I cannot hate you.» He said, «Do not leave this place: wait for me”, and left, taking with him everything that I had except clothes. I was waiting for him for two days and two nights, and all that time I did not eat or drink. In the morning of the third day, when he returned and saw me, he said, «I thought you were not like that.» Then he left again, and when he returned after a short time, he was carrying food and water. Then he said, «You have said that you are afraid to be in Orunt, haven’t you?”; I replied, «Yes.» Then he said, «Go to Orunt and stand at the main well; there I will come to you.» I asked him, «Do you want me to die?”; he answered, «I want you to live if you can.» Then he left; I went to Orunt, because I thought that Radiant needs my life. In Orunt I stood at the main well; Deskn soon came and called me to follow him. He took me out of Orunt and took me far away from it – four days journey. He led me to the confluence of two rivers, and said, «Why do you want to know which god we honor?» I replied, «Because of you, I almost died, and another time I was in fear of death: it was very difficult for me. I have nothing but life; I want to know who you are, and for whom I could lose the only thing I have twice. Tell me, – for my life is dear to me, and therefore you have become dear too.» Then he said, «There are many gods; but we do not worship any of them.» I was surprised by his words, and asked him about their life; he replied that to learn about their life, one must live the way they live. He said that the world is not what it seems to many people and that people’s life is wrong, and therefore bad. He said that they know the true life, for the world itself speaks to them. He talked about many things; and said that Radiant is an evil god among the gods. When I heard that I wished to hear the voice of the world, for I thought, «The gods are in the world; aren’t these people stronger than the gods, if Radiant cannot destroy them?» And I wished to be stronger than Radiant, and asked Deskn to teach me such power. He said, «The gods are not frightful; but people can do more harm than they can. If you want to be stronger than Radiant, then you must do other things than those who worship him. You do not know what we gain strength through – and I cannot teach you this. There is someone who could teach you; but this knowledge is worth as much as life. If you begin to learn, you will no longer be able to live differently than through this knowledge; and if you don’t learn to live through it, you will die.» Then I asked him, «Was it the same with you?”; and he replied, «Yes.» And I said, «Your life is now as dear to me as mine; I must also experience what you have experienced.» He said, «Life is not above all; but if it is for you, then you have set a good price. You should know that I am sorry for you, for you may die.» And he told me to think about it, promised to return in a day and left. When he returned, he found me in the same place, because I did not change my desires. Then he said, «Others must not know what is known to us; therefore if you come with me now, you will not be able to return.» I answered, «I will go, lead me.» He led me, and brought me to the forest; and, when we entered a wild thicket, he showed me a small hut there. Then he left, and a man came out of the hut, not old yet, but gray-haired; he had a long beard and hair that was not braided. That man greeted me and called me by name, gave me food, and then ordered me to loosen my braids. I thought it was wrong; but I did it because I wished to know what I had not known before. Then that man said that I should continue to obey him, he said that it would be good. And I was afraid but I entered his house.

ENON II

I lived in the house of the knowledgeable one and did what he did. I gathered food with him; and I wondered what our food was. He collected bad outgrowths, which were on trees, and inedible roots, and leaves, and buds, and needles, and bark, and poisonous berries, and he cooked delicious food, and we did not die. He also collected all the good things that he could find; he killed a few living creatures; he did not kill birds at all, and he took no more than one egg from their nests. Sometimes he climbed on the roof of the hut and sat there for two or three days and nights without food or sleep, he was looking into the thicket and listening. Sometimes he climbed to the top of a tree and stayed there for the same time; he told me that he was looking at the sky from there. He also told me that he could see the sky through the tree tops and that his eyes were not afraid of the bright sun. He also said that his body was not afraid of heat and cold; before my eyes, he put his hand into the fire, and there were no traces on it other than traces of soot. Sometimes he closed his eyes and could see what I was doing and told me about it; and saw what I was doing behind his back. I saw his deeds and I marveled; he told me that I was amazed by small things, and I was amazed only because I did not know the big things. I asked him to show me what he was talking about; he responded by telling me to lie down and fall asleep. I went to bed, but I could not sleep; then he said, «You know that sleep is pleasant; but you cannot even fall asleep easily until the need arises for this. How can I do great and difficult things unnecessarily, but only for your pleasure?» After a while I came to him that day, he asked me, «If I teach you a lot, then how will you pay me?» I replied, «I don’t know how to pay for what I have considered equal to life.» Then he said, «Alright; I see that I can teach you.» And he began to teach me, he was talking about many things; I saw his deeds and believed his words. When I doubted that the sky was like the water that separated the lands, he asked me, «Have you seen that this is not so?”; I replied, «No, I have not seen.» Then he said, «I saw that it was so; who will you believe – yourself or me?”; and I believed him. He talked about a living creature, greater than the world, and about its life, which was maintained by those who were knowledgeable in our lands and in other lands, which could only be reached by crossing the sky. He talked about a world so transparent that the purest water in comparison with it was like a stone wall, and which was accessible only to the eyes of those who were knowledgeable. He talked about life and death, and what was good and what was bad. He talked about a great god who was doing evil and was suffering from it; and said that that god was weaker than a man; and that he was longing not to have power – for the greater his power was, the closer his death was; thus, if he had become the strongest, he would have devoured the world, and the great creature, and himself. He said that it was painful for that god when he was wounded by a man, but that pain was his joy, for it fed his life. When I heard that, I said, «How can this be!”; the knowledgeable one said, «Tomorrow I will show you this.» The next day he made a portion with some herbs in a stone pot, and gave it to me, saying, «Drink it and you will find out what I told you about yesterday.» I drank and began to expect what a sight I would see; the knowledgeable one took another pot and made another portion. I saw nothing but that, and I was very upset. Soon I felt pain in my stomach, chest, and throat; then I felt as if my body was pierced with knives. Soon it passed, – but I felt sick, and I was getting weaker; then the knowledgeable one said, «I have poisoned you; soon you will suffer even more, and you will not see the evening.» Then he said, «I will give you the healing potion; but first take a knife and put it in the fire so that it will glow.» I did what he told me; when the knife became hot, the knowledgeable one said, «Take it and put it to your chest: then I will give you the healing potion.» I did what he told me, screaming in pain – and then he gave me a bit of that portion; then he told me to do the same again, and then he gave me a bit more of that portion; and it was like that five times. Then I felt pain again and then fell into darkness. When I woke up, I saw myself healthy and vigorous; only burns on the chest hurt. The knowledgeable one told me, «Have you learned that salvation often follows the pain and that this is why it brings joy?”; from that day on, I never again defiled his words with my doubt. He also taught me a lot; I believed his words and saw the world and myself differently than before. One morning I woke up blind; but the knowledgeable one said, «I have taken your sight; do not be afraid, for I will return it to you.» Someone came to our house that day; and then the knowledgeable one told me to get up and stand in silence. I stood for a long time; then the visitor said, «Good; let it be so in the future.». Then he left. The next morning, I woke up sighted, and the knowledgeable one told me, «I rejoice.» Then he told me, «Save the world, so it is not devoured by the great god who does evil.» I answered, «How can I do such a great thing? You told me that everyone is fighting this god in himself; how can I force others to fight?» He said, «There are many things that you can do»; then I said, « I will do what I can.» He asked, «What are you going to do?”; I answered him, «I want to live.» And I said, «Now I know the essence of Deskn’s deeds, who, for the sake of life, dragged me to the place where I was afraid to die. Now I want the same because I learned that not only my life is my life. Now I also know from you that it is not only fear and pain that plunge life, but evil as well, and evil can be pleasant. But I am not only me but you and others; and I know that without this unity I can do nothing. According to my mind, I can do little, but according to your word – more: so, tell me what to do.» Then he said, «A good deed can be terrible, and bitter, and disastrous. Do you want to do good with your body, word, mind, and will, knowing that it is like this? « I answered, «Yes»; he said, «I see that you have learned the value of life.» From that day on, he taught me not only with speeches but also differently. He took my feces and smeared them all over me, saying, «If you can’t stand your stench, how can you resist someone else’s stench?» He hit me painfully, and sometimes I fell and could not get up, then he said, «If you cannot bear the blows of my hand, then how will you bear the blows of a hostile hand?» He told me not to eat food for a long time, he said, «If you cannot do without food, then how can you offer it to others?» He told me to stay awake for a long time, he said, «If you cannot stay awake, then how will you protect the lives of others?» He told me to be silent for a long time, he said, «If you do not know how to remain silent, how can you speak?» He taught me to count and memorize and taught me to see, hear and smell. He taught my body to be fast and strong; and taught me to run in the thicket between trees as fast as in a meadow, and I could hang all day, from sunrise to sunset, clinging to a tree branch with my finger or toe, or with my teeth. He taught me to understand time and count it by breathing. He taught me to understand a lot and not be afraid of anything. One day he took my sight again; that day someone came again and looked at me and said, «Alright.» Soon the knowledgeable one asked me, «What do you want?”; and I answered, «Necessity.» From that day on, he taught me many good skills that I did not know before. He taught me to endure pain and taught me not to suffer from it if necessary. He taught me how to fight in the way that a spear and a sword cannot withstand an unarmed hand. He taught me to distinguish between healthy and poisonous herbs and taught me to prepare a mortifying drink and a healing drink from them. He taught me to mortify and heal through the outflow of power from my body, he taught me to extract and keep it in myself. He taught me to release a force, which could move heavy stones, and with which I easily broke a tree as thick as my thigh. And he said that I could not release this force from myself if I were bad in knowledge and in striving. And among other things, he also taught my mind a lot with his speeches. And the day came when he said, «The time has come to test you.» Then he gave me a drink of herbs; when I drank, I told him, «I drank poison.» Then he said, «If you have recognized from what herbs it is, then prepare another drink and save yourself.» And I prepared an antidote and drank it, and thus I was saved; the knowledgeable one said, «If you were wrong, I would not save you.» A day later, he told me, «Protect yourself», and attacked me in the way when a sword was powerless for protection. I fought him back with my bare hands, and we were fighting for a long time; then he said, «Enough; if you were not that good at your skill, I would kill you.» A day later, he said, «Resist me», and released a great force, which pressed me back to a thick tree. Then I also released a force, and I pushed his force away from me. And he said, «Alright; if your striving for the good, which I taught you, was not so great, then you would not have this power, and I would crush you.» Then I asked him, «Am I not equal to you in everything?» He asked me in response, «Are you more stupid than yourself?» And he said, «I could prepare a poison from which there is no salvation; I could kill you with a blow unknown to you; I could crush you easily. But you shouldn’t want a skillful flight from a barely fledged chick; therefore, I tested you so that you could survive if you studied well, and perish if you studied poorly and if your desire for the right was weak.» Then I asked him, «If it was a small challenge, then what is a great challenge?» The knowledgeable one replied, «There is nothing more challenging than a righteous life.» These days you could have died three times; when you leave, you will be close to death every day. But this is also a reward, for there is nothing better than to perish, giving birth to good, and there is nothing more shameful than to flee from such a death for the sake of vegetation between good and evil.» At dawn the next day, he told me to braid my hair, then he led me out of the forest and told me where I should go. And I went; and I lived in the forest for a little over than four years.

ENON III

I found a man whom the knowledgeable one told me to find, and I was in his house for two days. Then he called me with him and brought me to a house in Orunt. Some people greeted me. Among them was Deskn, whom I did not immediately recognize because his whole face was scorched by fire and he had no right eye. These people spoke to me, and each of them gave me something: clothing, food, or silver. After that, a man came and everyone bowed to him; he approached me and gave me a finger of gold. Then he left, and all the others left, except for the owner and Deskn; and Deskn asked me, «Did you understand that our leader came here?» I said, «I thought so – you told me this.» And I gave the owner a finger of gold, saying, «Give it to the leader, and tell him that I do not need gold from him.» Then the owner told me, «I want you to live in my house, and I ask you about it.» And I settled in his house, I was living as I would have lived if he had been my brother. He taught me to live in a way that those who saw me did not know that I did not honor Radiant: many tricks replaced lies. A man named Onat came to our house, he talked to the owner, whose name was Laesh, and with me. One day I went to the house of Onat, and saw other people there, for Onat was knowledgeable. One day I told him, «I am not doing anything that would be good for others, and I suffer from this.» He replied, «Wait for a little; but for now, listen to my words – for it is good for you now.» After a while, a man came for me, and together we left Orunt. He led me from morning to evening; and when we came to a house, which stood in the grove among the hills, he told me, «Enter your house.» Then he left, and I entered the house; When I entered, I found the leader inside. I learned from him that people built this house for me; and the leader told me to go to the knowledgeable one who used to teach me. I went to him and found him in the same place where he was before. He told me, «Among other things, everyone has his work, as in his body he has eyes, a tongue, or a hand. You are good at understanding herbs and other plants growing on land and in water; now I tell you that you will learn more than the little things you know.» From that day on, I lived alternately with him and in my house and learned the art of recognizing herbs and trees and making potions from them. He told me that any herb could kill, and could heal; and he said that there were certain properties and powers in herbs and trees. He said that their properties were contained in their visible flesh, and their powers – in their invisible flesh; and said that power could not convert these properties into others but could destroy them. Then he ordered me to prepare the deadliest poison I knew; when I prepared it, he drank it – and nothing bad happened to him. He taught me that and taught me a lot more. I collected herbs and brought them to my house, and prepared various portions from them. I came to the knowledgeable one and learned from him; and I knew that he did not come out of the forest. But one day the leader came to him and told him to go with him; and I saw how the knowledgeable one braided his hair and followed him. Four days later, the knowledgeable one returned and prepared a portion; the next day he told me to take it to Orunt and give it to Onat. I did it; and then I did the same every sixth day. One day Onat came to the house of the knowledgeable one himself, and gave him a small piece of wood with a certain sign; and gave me the same. Then the knowledgeable one braided his hair again and went to Orunt with him. He returned two days later and did not unbraid his hair again. And he told me, «Listen to the words about what has happened and what is happening now. The mother of the ruler of Orunt fell ill, and the priests could not heal her. Then the leader told me to go and heal her; I went and suggested to the chief priest that he should take me to the ruler – for then I would heal his mother, and he would be grateful to the priests for this, and they would be grateful to me. He did not believe me, and the priests tested me for a long time: but they had little knowledge, and their healing art was not art. And they took me to the ruler; I told him about my skills, and then asked him if his mother’s life was more precious than other lives. He said, «It is more precious»; then I showed him the sign and asked that priests and warriors would not touch those who had such a sign. He said, «Alright; but if you heal my mother, you will also heal me, and my wives, and my children.» I said, «Alright; but you should reward the priests for this as if they were healing.» He agreed, and I left him to find out about the illness of his mother, and then came back here. That was the person for whom you brought the portion; now she is as healthy as an old woman can be. From that day on, I will live near Orunt, to be with the ruler often; you will deliver what is needed for healing. If the soldiers seize you, show them a piece of wood with the sign; each of us has such a sign now.» I asked him, «Didn’t the ruler know that you do not honor Radiant?» He replied, «He learned about it from me; but he knows that it is better for him, and his mother, and his wives, and his children, and his brothers and sisters to live to honor Radiant themselves than to kill me.» I told him, «Now you are good for the ruler and the priests, and us, but you are bad for yourself, for you have left the forest.» He answered, «If I am good for others by good deeds, then how can I be bad for myself?» From that time, it did as he said. Each of us was doing his work; and none of us were killed by the warriors. I was doing what the knowledgeable one told me to do; and spoke with others; and the leader spoke to me twice. I learned a lot and understood a lot. I learned that the leader learned from another leader, and that – from another: and then – the same way; the time of knowledge was one hundred and fifty years from the first leader. This first leader lived in Orunt; on a certain day, he saw a fiery creature, invisible to others, and received a lot of knowledge about the world from it. And he was commanded to look for the worthy ones; and he was looking for them; when he found them, the invisible creature told him, «This one is good.» Then he spoke to the worthy; and there was not one among them that did not follow him. At the hour of his death, he chose his successor; from that time on and on. The first leader commanded to wait for a certain person; and when he would come, those who would be chosen by him would go with him. He called that deed the great deed, for the sake of which the fiery creature spoke to him. And I found out that the person had come fourteen years before the present day. He came, and the leader found out that it was him, although he did not know him until that day. And that man chose six and took them away with him; he told the others that they had nothing more to wait and that they should work further according to their understanding for the good. The current leader was the successor of the former, who was one of the six. He told him to lead twenty years and a year; after the expiration of the term, he should choose two people who would stay with him in Orunt, while others should leave that land for other lands to do their work there. I asked the leader if that would be so; he said that there were less than seven years left. And I also learned that knowledge among people was like the blood that went in the body of a person for his life; and if it was poisoned, then the body was sick and could die. The knowledgeable one told me that each of us was a healer who healed people with knowledge; and he said that one who could not heal himself could not heal another. And I did what was necessary, that I understood myself, and what the leader, the knowledgeable one, Onat, and others told me about. The day came when I could already talk about the necessary, teaching it to others. It was a good time – for I was doing what was due good, and I was not afraid of anything. One of those days, an old man came to me who was one of us; he was called Enarnan. He told me, «You are young and good-minded; here is a gift for you – good clothes and two fingers of gold; and I am your friend. I ask you for a good deed: you know that I have six daughters; I want you to copulate with them; when they give birth, teach the children good.» When I heard his words, I did not know what to do; and I took him to Onat to ask about it. And when Enarnan told him about his desire, he said, «You have planned a bad deed. Don’t you know that it is not appropriate to perform intercourse only at the will of the flesh or the mind? Man is a creature in which the flesh and mind are dead without the power of love. Therefore, do not force your daughters to intercourse without love; and tell them not to force themselves to do so. If they fall in love – do not hinder them by force – even if that person is bad. And teach them to understand good and discern evil not to fall in love with a bad person. Leave the gifts that you brought to Vez; and let him give them to people in need – to whom he wants.»; We listened to these words and returned to our homes. There was also a day when the knowledgeable one brought a young man to me to be my apprentice. Both the knowledgeable one and Onat taught me how to teach others; and they told me that I have a sharp mind. The time came when two girls were given to me to teach; I became a Teacher of three apprentices, and I was amazed by that. Two and a half years passed; and during this time none of us was captured and killed by the soldiers. Once the ruler called the knowledgeable one and told him, «I am smart, and therefore I see that you were not called to me by the priests; and I know that you give them your reward to buy them off. But it is bad when we are rewarding those who do not deserve it: this makes me feel bad when I see you. I want you to receive a reward too. Are the lives of my family members so miserable that I dare not reward their saver?! Today you will receive fifty fingers of gold, and the priests will not know about it; use your reward as you please.» The knowledgeable one took the reward, came to the leader, and asked, «Should I throw this gold into a river pit?» The leader said, «This reward cannot be despised, for it was not received by force and for a good deed. But we cannot take it for ourselves, because we promised the priests not to take rewards for ourselves. And we cannot give it to the priests, because then they will think that we have received more, and this is given to them to deceive them. Let this gold be exchanged for silver, and the silver be given to those in the city who are very poor and have many children.» And it was done like that; I learned about that from the knowledgeable one, and I was among the distributors of silver. We gave out silver and showed our pieces of wood with signs – but we did not say anything about ourselves. Among these families was one in which both wives died: and their husband asked us to take the smallest of the children, there were eight of them. We took the child and gave him to one of our women, and she called him a son. Then I asked Onat, «Why would people know us by our sign?» He replied, «Having recognized the sign, they do not recognize us; but let them at least know that there is something good in this city – as a dwelling for many who need it.» And he said, «I will show you that a man is blind if he has no knowledge.» He took me to the square near the main well and showed me a certain person. This man was old; everyone knew him, because every morning he came to the square and was sitting on a large stone all day, and in the evening he left somewhere. He did not speak to anyone, but only looked around; and he was the only one in the whole city who did not braid his hair. And Onat told me, «Here is one of us. He has been here for many years; everyone sees him, but no one knows that he is one of us. They are blind; but you are more blind than they are, for you have seen someone like you, and you have learned about it only from me. Now, remember: neither a pointing sign nor any other sign will help those who do not see what exists. If you do not see the person himself, then how can his simple piece of wood be clearer? These people do not recognize us by a sign; but let them at least see the good in the sign and rejoice in it as much as they can.» Then he left; I was looking at the elder for a long time, without approaching him, and then returned to my dwelling.

ENON IV

One day, news came to Orunt that a certain tribe had invaded it. Then the ruler sent an army, and it drove out the aliens; more than two thousand were captured and brought to Orunt. Soon the leader called to him those of us who had apprentices; so the knowledgeable one came to him, and Onat, and I, and ten more. And he told us, «You know about the captured people, but you do not know that none of them will be turned into workers or taken into families, as it was before. I know that the priests persuaded the ruler to sacrifice all of them to Radiant; they say that he is angry because of the actions of the ruler and his priests, who, being tempted by our benefits, tolerated us. And if these people are sacrificed, then it will be our fault, as we deceived the ruler and the priests with our benefits. We must prevent this, not to be worse than Radiant. I know what we should do, and I will tell you about it; but first, do what needs to be done now, do what I will tell you.» And he told us to make sure that all who were among us, on the right day, left the city and gathered in the right place – on a bare hill in the middle of the forest. And those of us who knew how to emit power from ourselves should separate from the others – at the very top. And so it was done: everything was as he ordered. On the due day, all gathered on the hill; and on the top of the hill, there were sixteen people apart from me and another leader. He said, «Each of you knows how a sacrifice is made to Radiant, for each of you has seen it; remember this now.» And I remembered the offering of this sacrifice, which I had seen twice with my father. In the middle of Orunt there was a wide, bare place without buildings and trees; in the middle of this place was a large round basement made of stone, almost one and a half-height tall. There was a stone altar on it; and around this place was a mound of soil mixed with clay and stones. This embankment was so wide that all the inhabitants of Orunt could climb it and see the offering of sacrifice to Radiant; it was three and a quarter height tall. From the side of sunrise, it was crossed by a temple, so that one of its entrances was outside it, and the other was inside. On the due day, the priests took one of the villains caught in the city, who was not executed, but preserved for the sake of offering a sacrifice, and carried him through the temple, and then put on the stone foundation and chained to the altar with golden chains. After that, all the priests went out to the roof of the temple and stood there; the people stood on the embankment. And at a certain moment Radiant appeared over the altar: he was like a cloud of smoke, made of light; and he was at a height of about two hundred heights. He went down to the altar – and I saw that he looked like a cloud, several heights wide and several heights high; and he was shining like the sun – but the eyes did not hurt; and the light coming from him did not give shadows. He went down and covered the altar with himself; and heat came from him; and before we inhaled twenty times, he ascended back into the sky, and disappeared there. On the altar, however, there was dust that had no distinct color; and one of the priests went up to the altar and threw it to the ground, at the foot of the basement. Such was the offering of sacrifice to Radiant. And the leader told us that the priests were going to sacrifice one of the captured men on the first day, and a hundred men on each of the following days until they sacrifice all of them. And he said what we ought to do; then he brought us down the hill and led us to Orunt; he ordered the others to remain on the hill. So many people remained on the hill — perhaps more than thirty dozen because those of them who had children took them with them. Thus everyone gathered in one place for the first time, and everyone saw everyone. We returned to Orunt; and when we entered it, many of us went to the place of sacrifice; the knowledgeable one, a man named Valar, a youth named Omeshdan, and I, went where the chief priest was. When we arrived, we were allowed to see him, for they saw that the knowledgeable one was leading us. We passed the fence of the small temple where the chief priest was; and the knowledgeable one told him, «In this day you are preparing a sacrifice for Radiant: it is true. If you hadn’t had our benefits, pleasing to the ruler, there would have been no great sacrifices. So now we want this young man to be the first sacrifice.»; Then he pointed to Omeshdan. After listening to his words, the chief priest was silent for a long time; afterward, he said, «There are no people worse than you. I see that not only do you want to make a sacrifice to someone else’s god, but you also want to put one of your people to death – and not a decrepit man, but young. I wish I could come up with something more villainous – and I cannot; surely no one has ever seen villains like you in Orunt.» And he started calling all the priests who were nearby; and he told them to look at us, and told them about our desire. We were standing and waiting for his answer. And he said, «It will be as you want – for I will allow it for the sake of your shame and the sake of death of one of your people.» Then the priests took Omeshdan with them; we went out of the fence of the small temple and went to the place of sacrifice. There we climbed the embankment, where the leader, Onat, and others were waiting for us. And we parted, standing in a chain along the entire embankment at its inner edge, and so we formed a circle out of ourselves. Soon people started gathering, and after a while, they filled almost the entire embankment. And I saw how the priests put Omeshdan on the altar and chained him there. Soon Radiant appeared and went down to the altar, covering it with itself. Then I began to count the time by breathing; and I counted out sixty, – but Radiant did not leave the altar. Then each of us emitted force from ourselves and gave it to Omeshdan. And then Radiant began to fade and disappeared, like the heat inside coal thrown into the water. And I saw that Omeshdan was dead: he was burnt like a firebrand; and the chains melted, and gold flowed over the altar and dripped from it. At the same moment, the altar cracked and split in two, and the stone base cracked in many places, split, and fell apart. Then all the people yelled in amazement; but no one ran away in fear, for everyone thought that Radian had shown them its might, and they rejoiced at that. We left the embankment and left Orunt; and when we came to the hill, the leader told us, «There is no more Radiant; but Omeshdan also died.» All stayed overnight on the hill; Onat, three others and I went to Orunt in the evening. And there we saw that everyone already knew about the death of Radiant; many were screaming and crying; the priests were walking around the city in silence. When they saw us, then those of them who had seen me among others at the chief priest’s place pointed to me for others. And they looked at us with fear, and they didn’t know what to do. We went to the house of the ruler; and on the way, we saw how a warrior killed a priest. When we came to the house of the ruler, no one blocked our path and did not prevent us from going to him. When we saw him, the chief priest was with him. Onat told them, «We happened to destroy your god; now our leader has told me to ask you if your grief would be less grievous if he gave his life into your hands?» The ruler replied, «If you are so strong that the gods cannot fight you back, then how can we command his life? I am guilty of what happened, for I was deceived by your benefits; someone else’s death will not ease my guilt.» The priest said, «I am more guilty, for I was not only deceived by your benefits but allowed you to the altar. You did the right thing; and if we could destroy alien gods, we would do it.» Then the ruler said, «I am the ruler of Orunt; I wish well to its inhabitants. You have deprived them of their god – and therefore you must leave Orunt, for you feed its grief.» Onat answered him, «The leader foresaw these words of yours, and ordered me to tell you that the people of Orunt are blind and do not see themselves. We can give them much in return for the destroyed god; but they will not accept even the good from us – and you can teach them not to reject us.» The ruler said, «Once I was deceived by the good – and now something terrible happened. Now I do not want the same: therefore, leave Orunt.» Onat replied, «Having exterminated the bad god for the sake of saving the innocent, we did a good deed, and the reward for this will remain in us. But with this, we plunged Orunt into grief and chaos, and we cannot change this: therefore, we must obey your word. It is almost night now: let us stay in the city till tomorrow to take what belongs to us – and the next morning we will leave.» The ruler replied, «Let it be.» And we left Orunt and returned to the hill. The next morning the leader announced to everyone the need to leave; and each went to Orunt to take with him what was necessary and to be in their house for the last night. And I saw that the leader came to the man who was silently sitting on the stone, and told him, «Only you alone did not leave Orunt, and I did not force you to do that: but tomorrow you should leave with us.» The next morning everyone left Orunt; only the leader, Onat, a man named Bahara, and I remained. We again came up to the man sitting on the stone, and the leader told him, «Let’s go.» He, to our surprise, answered; he said, «My body will not leave this city; but the soul wants to obey you. And if I cannot stay, because something else is ought to be done, then deliver me from my body, because I should not do this myself.» Then he handed the leader a knife; the leader took it, saying, «I am the greatest among those like me, and I cannot escape the hardships and grief that will bypass them.» And he stabbed the man who was sitting on the stone in the eye with the knife, and thus killed him. Then we left Orunt and joined the others. After that, we all came back to the same hill and stayed on it for two days. On the third day, the leader ordered everyone to follow him and ordered five people to stay and to live near Orunt. Thus, there remained a knowledgeable one named Kyazis, Valar, my student named Vola, another woman named Irgale, and I. Everyone said goodbye to us, leaving; and they left. We showed our respect to Kyazis – for he has now become our leader. And we all cut off our braids – for then we became different from what we had been before.

ENON V

We made our dwellings half a day away from Orunt; there were two of them: one for men, the other for women. We lived there, gathering together every day and talking among ourselves; and every day Kyazis spoke to us and spoke to each of us. We did what was necessary to be done: we got food and made what we could make. I collected herbs and other things that I knew were useful for healing, and taught the same to Vola, and taught her to prepare portions. Valar had various weapons and trained women to fight so that they could defend themselves; he could not teach me, because I overpowered him with my bare hands. When Kyazis saw that he ordered me to train the women and to train Valar as well. Valar hunted for us; and sometimes he or I went to other villages. Their inhabitants were surprised that we did not have braids, but they did not drive us away; and we spoke with them and traded. Irgale and Vola made clothes for the body and legs and grew edible roots and herbs near our homes, and we helped them. Kyazis taught us and instructed us on how to live; and sometimes he helped us to do what we did – and did it well or better than us. From time to time he went away to listen to those who told him about what was happening in Orunt. Thus we learned that some of the priests killed themselves, and most of them became warriors to support Orunt in that way. The smallest group of the priests left Orunt; many of those who saw them also left. After some time, we learned that the people of Orunt wished to have a god again. The ruler did not know which of the other gods was good and therefore did not allow any god to be worshiped. Then both the people and the soldiers rebelled; and the warriors drove out the ruler, and they formed a council of six best warriors; and it began to rule. This council allowed to worship any gods – except those which demanded human sacrifice. Then a great feud began in Orunt; many died in it, and many ran away from Orunt, and even passed through our village. And one night the council sent soldiers who entered the houses and killed those who were known for their enmity with others. And the council forbade feud between the worshipers of different gods; the hostile ones were killed at the main well. And the council commanded that, in addition to honoring their gods, everyone should also honor Orunt and take care of its welfare. Thus, the feud was outlived; but after that, there was a feud about those who should be in the council: feud started many times, and many died because of it. We lived as we ought to live; each did his work for himself and others. Some people ran away from Orunt and ran through our village; and one of them wanted to marry Vola, and thus he stayed with us. We made a dwelling for them; and that man, who was called Tas, was getting knowledge from Kyazis, and was learning how to fight from Valar and me. After a short time, Valar took Irgale as his wife; and they began to live in the house where women used to live. And three more came to us, from which one left, and two joined us. Once a man came to us, who was formerly a priest in Orunt; for two years he wandered near Orunt, and then came to us. His name was Rumanan, and he was better than the others who came. And another man came with his wife and two children, and his wife’s sister was with them; she was soon taken as a wife by one of those who had come earlier. And we rejoiced and built dwellings for those who came. The time came when it was necessary to settle separately as the last leader told us. Then Kyazis decided to leave; and he ordered Rumanan to go with him, as well as Tas and Volya with their child. Vola was pregnant for the second time; and Kyazis waited until she gave birth, and then they left. He ordered all people who had joined us to go back to Orunt and live there, for they were not among those who were expelled from Orunt. And they went there and lived there; only Valar, Irgale, and I remained in the village. In due days we came to Orunt, and those of us who lived there came out; and I spoke to them and taught them. Now I was knowledgeable, I taught them and they learned. And there were more and more of us, as in Orunt they spoke openly, and there were those who joined us; and outside of Orunt people were joining us, and therefore we built new dwellings in the village again. We gave the due tax to Orunt, and no one oppressed us; when the war began, our men took up arms and defended Orunt from the aliens. Then Valar became famous for his valor and died, for he could not hide in Orunt; Irgale and I took refuge in the forest. After that everything became as it was before; and it was like that for a long time. I grew old; and among us, two knowledgeable men learned from me, and one hundred and forty people, including forty women; and I was the leader. And the time came when I saw that many wanted to know what they should not know: and I could not do anything. And false knowledge appeared among them; and among these people there were those who took delusions for the Truth. I could teach them how to behave, but I could not reveal all the reasons to them. And thus they invented reasons; people believed that those of them who were successful were knowledgeable. One day they began to fight with each other; I could not do anything, and knowledgeable men whom I had taught could do nothing either. Then I saw that my work was turning into something else and that the minds of people could not remain without food; but I could not give it to many. And then I called two apprentices with me and six more faithful people and went with them far from Orunt. We settled in the foothills, among the rocks, and built a small village of three dwellings. It happened that the inhabitants of those lands once attacked us: but we emitted force from ourselves and split a large rock without even touching it with – and thus we frightened them greatly. They ran away, and never again approached our village. We lived on an extremely poor diet, looking for food around. I taught those who came with me what I knew and could do myself. And the day came when I felt that the hour of my death was not so far away. Then I put my apprentices into groups of two and told them to leave and walk for at least fifty days, or until water, inaccessible mountains, or forests blocked their way. I told them to settle among people and teach them as they should and as they could; if there were no people there, they should go where there were people. And they obeyed me and went away; I was left alone. Although I was old, I still had considerable strength: therefore, I lived in that place for another twenty-two years. Over the years, I never spoke to anyone, as people were afraid of me, and taught their children the same. I knew that my work was completed, for I had done everything that I had to do. And I lived, acquiring what I could from the world. I acquired a lot of knowledge that I had not had before; and I understood that two decades was a very short period, and understood why my death seemed so close. I realized that, no matter how far away the hour of death was, that period was still closer than one breath away. And I learned that when I felt that death was close, I was not mistaken, but only felt the essence of time. Thus, I lived and learned a lot more. But the time came when I was exhausted and could no longer get food. Then I lay down in my dwelling and told myself about my life and my deeds. And I was lying and thinking about what was happening and was contemplating until my flesh died.

ENON VI

I saw myself standing in the middle of a great plain, where there was nothing and no one but me; and the earth was not the earth, and the sky was not the sky. And I saw two men approaching from afar; they greeted me, and I greeted them. One of them said that there were no people among those who came to that world who would not carry a heavy stone in themselves. And he said that the one who was with him had always been with me and that he would be near. Then they left; I followed them, I wanted to reach the edge of the plain. And as I walked, something held me back more and more; and soon I felt as though I was tied up and could no longer walk. Then I saw that the plain was like a cave; it became smaller, and dusk fell in it. I was not afraid, for I knew that I would experience the unknown. And then I fell; I did not feel the top and bottom and did not know where the left side and the right side were. The space in which I stayed clothed me like a garment and squeezed me like fetters. And I felt myself in it and myself outside of it, and I also felt myself in myself. Then many things happened, and it was painful, joyful, and wondrous, like a birth of a pearl in a flower. I experienced an amazing thing: I was like three entities at the same time. The one that was outside of me touched the one that was deep inside me – and so they impregnated each other. Then the one that was squeezed by space gave birth to the fruit of their merger through each of its particles: that was great torment and great pleasure. And after that it gave birth to itself through what was born of it: and then my sufferings were great. Then I escaped from the space that was squeezing me – like a chick hatching from an egg without destroying its shell. And then I saw myself again on the plain; and it had no limit – but at the same time, it had many limits. I no longer had the guise of an old man, and I was wearing a robe that was not separate from the body itself. Then the same two appeared again, and they again greeted me. Then the one who had previously spoken to me left, and the other stayed. I asked him if I had cast a stone out of myself; he replied that my stone would still erupt me into the world from which I came. He said that this stone was the worst part of me and that it was not for me to throw it out, but to transform it into good. Then he said that I was experiencing great hardships because I was who I was. He said, «Stone columns are used to support the roof so heavy that wooden columns would not hold it and would collapse, and it would collapse and kill the inhabitants of the dwelling. A vessel for storing fire is made of clay because wood can not resist the flame. A sword is made of metal because a sword made of wood cannot repel the deadly blow of a sword made of metal. You see that strong is for greater hardships than fragile. It is true for a person: the better he is, the heavier the burden he carries. But the better he is, the stronger he is; if he thinks he is weak, then this is laziness talking in him, or cowardice, or indifference to the good; this means that he is not as good as he seems. The good one is strong; he knows his strength – but he should also know its limit so that one day he will not lie to himself and not harm the great work. Your strength is great; and you can increase it even more: you will be helped in this. But above all, you must know yourself and your deeds better than you knew them before. Few of those who come here can learn it the way you will learn it now; I’ll tell you about you.» And he began to talk to me about my previous deeds, desires, and thoughts; and I knew that there were no lies and delusion in his words. When he told me everything he wanted, I told him, «I wonder how blind a person can be. I have been marveling at this from the day Onat showed me the man sitting on the stone; now I am amazed even more.» He replied, «A person is cured of blindness not when he has learned something but when he has not destroyed this knowledge in himself and nurtured good from it.» Then he said, «Even now you are blind to many things, and you know it; you do not even see the place where you are.» Then he touched me; and I saw that the place we were contained other places as well – just as someone mixed small stones, grains, and sand, while another saw only one of the three. And he took me with him; and our steps were not steps. And then he showed me a lot and talked about it a lot; and a lot of time passed. I saw the world from which I came, and I saw a lot that was beyond it. My vision was so keen that I saw what was in the distance, and my gaze penetrated many obstacles. I saw the gods, whom many people worshiped: these gods had a distinct appearance and at the same time did not have it. They were surrounded by a glow; and from them, something seemed to pour out into the world of people, and from it, something seemed to pour out to them. Each of them had his territories, beyond which his glow did not spread; and I saw that often the territories of one were in the territories of another: but they did not merge into one, although they were simultaneously in one place. Some of them burned each other with their glow, trying to destroy each other. And I saw people who had forsaken the flesh: they were in the glow of their gods; some of them suffered, while others enjoyed, approaching suffering: but they were all more blind than they could see. Then I said to the one who was with me, «Show me the true gods – those about which my teachers had told me.» He said, «You are blind, for you see them, but you do not know about it; you should know that everything that you see is they. You see them always; therefore, your mind does not accept what is given by the gaze. Now I will show them to you by showing you their other essence.» Then, he touched me; and I saw an innumerable multitude of lights, which were separate and at the same time merged into one. They intertwined and passed through each other: and I knew that they built and nourished each other. They passed through me – and I saw and knew that I was made up of them. And then I felt that I was immortal: and I felt it as clearly as I had never felt before. At that moment, the one accompanying me ceased to touch me, and I ceased to see the light of the gods; but I saw that I was shining myself. And I saw that the one who was with me was shining too; and he told me, «Greetings to you again, for now, you have entered the abode of another yourself.» And he told me, «Get to know your old self.» Then I wished to know what had happened to me before; and I found out what my lives in the world of matter were like, for I remembered them. I learned a lot more; afterward, the one who was with me said, «You have been drinking knowledge for a long time: now rest.» Then I wished for some rest; and it was as if a soft cloth enveloped me, which was neither light nor darkness. And I was very pleased; my veil washed and nourished me; and it gave me peace and bliss. But soon I felt something like a thirst, and bliss began to weigh me down like fetters or an illness. Then I wished my veil to disappear; when it disappeared, I saw that my companion was nearby. He said, «Immortality is endless work: therefore, the one who has cognized his immortality can experience peace only in it. Peace was pleasant to you while it nourished your strength: when your strength increased, it tore the fetters of peace. This is how it should be – for the good is such only when it corresponds to the due measure.» Then we visited many places and I saw a lot. I saw the world from which I came here, and I saw what it was. I saw a lot that was happening there – both good and bad; and saw how the abodes of good and evil were built and destroyed. I saw creatures that surrounded people invisibly; among these creatures, there were more harmful than useful. I saw people who could create harmful creatures in my former world, they looked terrible or had no clear appearance. And I saw how these creatures found and tormented their victims; but I also saw people who slew and destroyed these creatures. I asked my companion for permission to help people who were suffering, and he did not forbid me to help. But I could not do anything, for something prevented me from approaching them; if I could approach, then I was losing strength, remaining invisible to both the creature and the suffering person. Then my companion told me, «This work does not call you, because the world does not need you in it. You are one of the knowledgeable: therefore, if you can intervene and must do this, then you will learn about that – but you will not learn from your feelings. And even if you know you can intervene, still don’t do it if you don’t have to.» I told him, «I will do as you command; but my grief for these unfortunate ones is great»; he replied, «This is exactly what is needed – for good is good even without an action, but not every action is good.» Then he said, «What is accomplished is many-sided, and its necessities are innumerable. You know a lot – but at the same time, you know little, as if a man living in an abundant land ate only one grain in five thousand years. This is how little you know; Do not be surprised that you do not know something, and do not encroach on the accomplishment, the meaning of which is invisible to you and you are not sure that you should intervene. But don’t judge yourself for your ignorance; remember that everyone is good because he knows what is good and does it – but he is even better because he will learn and do greater good than the one within his power today.» I also saw wanderers wandering between worlds. Most of them were looking for non-existent by mistake; they did not see much around them, for they wanted to see something different. And my companion told me, «If someone imagines something that cannot be the way he imagines it but he thinks it exists, then it seems to arise. But this is only an image, and it is empty inside; this emptiness is the emptiness of essence. It seeks to be filled, and therefore attracts the forces of the one who created it, seeking to devour them. But force cannot give birth to essence, and therefore its forces are broken into emptiness; and some of them nourish the life of the image, and the other part is scattered like smoke in the wind. And this unfortunate man grows weak; and he weakens, even if he does not look for his creation; and if he dwells in the world of matter, his body weakens, as if from a serious illness, and his consciousness turns into a den of madness. There are quite a few of them; and they go from smaller suffering to greater, for they will not perish, but torture themselves, and then they will give birth to themselves again in pain. And for others, they are dangerous, for delusion is like a contagious disease. You see how many there are; remember, that one delusion can be surmounted by another, but all delusions are surmounted by Truth. It is a medicine that cures all ailments; knowledge is like herbs, which contain healing properties and powers. Do what you have been doing so well before. Know that every good deed has Truth as its source, and flows into Truth by itself.» I saw a lot of creations of delusions: they were very diverse, and all were empty inside. Among them were images of various creatures, and objects, and deeds, and there were even whole lands and powers. And all the gods, except the true ones, whose light was in everything, were the same. I saw people in this world tormented by the creations of their minds and feelings. And I saw those who were asleep, fettered within themselves; their creations were near and tormented them in their sleep. And the one who accompanied me told me, «What happened with you when you appeared here was the same. Forces that were tormenting and squeezing and you were your creations; and the best in you was fighting with them and defeated them.» And I saw many strange creatures; I also saw those who did not have a clear appearance or were like glow, smoke, water, and so on. I saw people and other creatures who greeted us; their presence near us pleased me. I knew they were like us; and I asked my companion to tell me what kind of connections there were between them and us. He replied, «Truth is the greatest connection: it binds those who do not know, invisibly to them, and those who know, bind themselves by it and themselves in it.» I saw a lot more; after that, my companion showed me much more in the world from which I came. There I saw many lands, including those in which I once lived. I also saw Orunt; and I saw that neither in it nor anywhere else in that world were those who had known me. Then I asked my companion, «Where are our leaders, the knowledgeable ones and others?» He replied, «There are as many roads in every path as there are those who follow it. Maybe you will meet some of those you want to meet – but that will be later; now something else that is ought to be accomplished is accomplished.» Soon he led me to a certain place like a hill, on which it was very pleasant to be. And he told me, «I showed you what I had to show: I do not have much right further on. Now I leave you – for you must not lose more for the sake of less.» Then he went away; I stayed, waiting.

ENON VII

I stayed in that place for a while, contemplating the environment around me and myself in it. Soon I felt a call coming from a not very long distance; it was distinct both for my mind and for my body. And I went where it came from; and that call was leading me, showing the way. And I desired to come where I had to come so much, that I even overcame those spaces that I did not know how to overcome; and I was moving so fast that I was amazed at myself, for I did not know that I had such skills. And I reached a magnificent structure, which was not built of anything but had a solid appearance, like a rock. It was visible, but it had many outlines; there were no entrances to it, but at the same time there were entrances and they were numerous. I entered it; then I did not see it from the inside, but I saw a great space, in which there were many other spaces. Then someone approached me, and I felt his joy; something was emanating from him, similar to what my present body was breathing. And he said, «There is no greeting better than the meeting itself or a kind wish.» He said that his name was Amoselena; but I already knew his name, for I heard it within me when I saw him; he knew my name, but still asked me to name myself. Then he said, «There are few who come here, but they are strong; if you are here, it means that your power seeks to pour out into the proper stream.» I replied, «I lived as I was taught to live; now I know that life can live by me. I want this, and I can’t do otherwise, – for what else should I do, if not to accomplish the meaning of the Being?» He said, «Someone who lives otherwise could not be here; that’s why I know what you have told me, and I know what you haven’t told me yet.» After that, he led me up – and we found ourselves on the top of a mountain; and I looked down and saw that it had neither slopes nor the root. And above, and below, and on all sides, there was a great expanse in which everything that should be accomplished was accomplished. And Amoselena said, «This being is your being.» Then he said, «The place we are in is like a mountain: but it is not a mountain. This place is the part of accomplishment that rises above the others, and at the same time is within them. Truth knows itself; and it knows that it is everything. And some cognize the Truth; and the more clearly they cognize it, the more clearly it cognizes itself in them, and the stronger the true reality becomes. The place where we are now is a particle of this reality. The Being, which has passed through consciousness becomes stronger, – for everything bad is spewed out of it; this is how the particles of the existing, inaccessible to evil, arise. They are the womb, in which the future good is conceived, which is the best of the good. Sentient beings live in many worlds; and in each of these worlds, there is a place similar to this place. They are separated – but one, for they are like parts of one indivisible body. There are many places like that in the Universe; they are all created by sentient beings, who have tasted the Truth and strive for the Good.» Then I said, «If they are one, then I can see them;» and Amoselena approached me and merged with me, just as two liquids mix. And then I saw darkness all around, and a multitude of lights in it: they were like stars at night. Then I saw that in every particle of darkness there was a particle of light; these lights like the stars were not enclosed in darkness, but surrounded by it. And I saw myself living in each of them; and I felt the enjoyment of the life of Life; and realized that I was not yet able to feel all that was possible to feel and recognize there, for the river filled the vessel only to the edge, and the remaining water would pass it. And I saw that these lights are the particles of the light that fill everything with itself – and even darkness. I realized that darkness was like earth, which in itself was not suitable for food, and which killed the one who was buried alive in it, taking away his breath. But it contained in itself something without which even the one who breathed freely could not live, and from which his food was born. And if a good grain was found in the ground, it would grow and give fruit; the living one would eat it, and then would give birth to new life. So, everyone who lived was the earth, – for he lived through food that comes from the earth, and his body turned into the earth. And what I saw as the darkness was like the earth, and what I saw as the light was like something that was contained in the earth and nourished the living. And I realized that everyone, who was the earth, could see the good in themselves, nurture it, taste it and pass it on to others. And these lights were everything good and strong that many cultivated in themselves and poured out by from themselves; they were living people, and a seed that they threw into the ground, and people nourishing that seed, and a ripe fruit, which they were eating and nourishing others, and in which new seeds were born. I saw the light contained in the darkness around me and I saw myself merged with all who were merged with the light. I was the united being, containing all other creatures within me, some of them were shining more strongly and were in the lights, while others were shining weaker, for they had not yet matured out of their darkness. And I realized that I still could not feel and recognize the fullness of that; and then Amoselena separated from me. And he said, «Do not just regret that you cannot do something but also rejoice that in the due hour you will be able to do it.» Then he said, «Light does not turn into darkness, but darkness turns into light. Therefore, the place we are now will not disappear; the same as other places like it. But the darkness that dwells around them will turn into light; there will be more and more places like that – until they reach each other not only with their inner essence but also with their outer. Then they will merge once more; and then all darkness will become light, and light will become something, in the generation of which there is the meaning of life of the light.» Then I asked, «What will it be?»; and Amoselena replied, «The face of the accomplisher is in his essence; the essence of what you are asking about will be his face. Nowadays there is nothing equal to it – and therefore no one knows what it will be like; the less perfect cannot know what the more perfect is until it becomes it. One can only know that the more perfect is the more perfect; I know this, and I told you this.» Then he said, «You know what evil is and why it exists; and you know what will happen if the good does not triumph in due time. You see that this place is the support of oughtness in the world of people. But you should also know that the world of people does not see this support, for its light is invisible to the gaze of flesh, and its voice is inaudible to the minds of those who do not know that they can hear its voice. Therefore, those who are here cannot appeal to the world of people until they are again clothed in flesh. And when you put on the flesh, you will have to take care of yourself and others. The first leader in Orunt was like this: therefore, he heard the words of the Wise. Only the Wise can appeal to any of the people; we cannot, because people do not know for certain about us and do not pave the way for us to their world. Only a few of those who were taught Truth and goodness by leaders can accept our help in their world or this one. Leaders in the human world only give in-depth knowledge to some people; for the rest, they only visibly indicate the path leading to the best path. If people fail to see him and fail to find him themselves, then they will embark on the path leading to death. Then the Wise will bring up one among them, and give him knowledge, through him giving it to others. And this person will build a stronghold, one essence of which will be the light here, and the other – the flesh in the world of people. Then we will be able to explicitly appeal to people, for through this stronghold a path will lay, clearly connecting the worlds. And those who live in places like this but near other worlds will also be able to talk to people; people who have learned what is due will be able to talk to them. Thus, people will learn a lot, – for not a small number of the chosen ones will learn from knowledgeable ones, but everyone who desires it; and whoever knows how to learn will learn. But this will happen only if the race of people is threatened with destruction; thus, if it is ready to devour itself, then what I said will happen – it will happen to turn people away from evil and continue to build in goodness. Truly, people have everything to see and know, and then do what is due. And they can turn their world into a stronghold of good and they may never know the threat of death at their own hands. We do as much as we can here to help; but when you were in the world of people, you saw those who cared about it there, and you were one of them.» I said, «There are so many worlds, and there are many kinds of sentient beings; Does it work in all worlds as it does in the world of people?» He replied, «Each world has its path; among them, there are those who are more or less similar to each other. The conscious mind is the doer of evil, for it can make mistakes and take evil for good. It can cognize; but sometimes blind with delusions it does not give itself sufficient time for learning. Its accomplishment is faster than its cognition: so someone, feeling thirsty, thinks that any drink is good to quench his thirst; and he believes that the tastier the drink, the better it is – and does not know that it can be poison. Great efforts and great care are exerted by the Universe to nurture each race of sentient beings; and it takes a lot of time. It is bad if it is done in vain; and it is bad when everything good that a certain perished race could accomplish does not happen, as with this incompletion everything good that would flow from this race perishes through non-fulfillment. If one particle of good perishes through non-fulfillment, then together with it a great multitude of good parishes, which could have come from it in time. If it perishes, then the rest of the good will not receive assistance from it in the struggle against evil; thus, evil will become stronger than it was, and it will be more difficult for the Universe to avoid destruction and achieve the best. It is bad when the mind, which exists to do good, does evil so violently that it destroys itself through the destruction of sentient beings. There is no greater victory of evil than this, and there is nothing more terrible.» Then he said, «I will show you something that once happened in the human world.» And he led me along with him and led me to a stream, which was made of stone like water. We entered it; and I saw that there was a space, small and vast at the same time. And I saw something like a rock; and Amoselena said, «This is the tablet that will be available to you through me.» Then he merged his hand with it and merged his other hand with me. And at once I became aware of what had happened before. I learned that once a different kind of sentient beings lived in the human world. There were two races in it, which differed in appearance and habitation. And once the strongest of these races cultivated enmity in themselves towards the weakest, for that race once arose from the strongest. The strongest race called themselves the older, and they called another race the younger and despised them. And the time came when the older race wanted the younger one to die and began to destroy them. The younger race was persecuted and exterminated, but did not want the older one to die; however, the day came when it opposed the older race. But by that time, it was already outnumbered; and some said that it would be better to destroy themselves, and thus bow before the strongest; others said that whatever it was, everything would be good. Some time passed, and the younger race was exterminated. And then the world was outraged by the actions of the older race and began to take away the strength of life from it to prevent worse deeds as it grew. And the older race began to weaken bodily; many experienced serious ailments, from which they died; and many were so weak that they died without knowing ailments. Fewer descendants were born, and they were weaker and weaker, and many had a flawed mind. And then fear and despair came to that race. But one of them knew the reason for what was happening, and many learned from him. The best of them taught others; and everyone who cognized it established law in himself that was the same for everyone and consisted in knowing and doing the best. And the day came when the world again began to nourish that race with its strength; and then the sorrowful began to turn into the beneficial. That race grew up and achieved the best for itself; and when they were leaving, they left their seed in the world. This seed merged with something it was supposed to merge with – and in the world of people, a different kind of sentient beings appeared. It was doing the best it could do for a long time – but at some time it achieved the best and left, leaving its seed in the world. It merged with something it was supposed to merge with – and the race of people appeared in the world. I learned that; and then we returned to the place from which we came. Then Amoselena told me, «You see what might happen to sentient beings; and you see that a race that destroys itself destroys the fruits of lives of many generations that came before it, and those that will be after it.» I replied, «Now I know that the one who cares about the welfare for the race of people cares about the great.» Then Amoselena said, «Now understand that the hardships of the one who cares are just as great. See how great must be his aspiration, and his patience, and his courage, and his dedication, and his kindness, and his love for everything that exists. See how strong his desire must be to acquire knowledge and pass it on to others, and how careful he must be in this matter. Great streams of forces are raging around him – both good and bad: and he must resist in their whirlwind. Do you see now what should be the one like who truly cares for the welfare of the race of people?» And I knew what I had to answer; and I replied, «I see and know.» Then Amoselena said, «Good is one for all worlds; times pass, nourishing with its essence that strives for good. Therefore, the one who cares for the welfare of the race of people should not give up his efforts but must work at all times, spaces and substances. It is good when someone found out what Truth is and what is good; but such a person must have a desire to act in the right way. If he does not have such a striving and does not follow the due, then evil is very strong in him. The one who does not know what is due and therefore does not follow it, is less maleficent, for he does what he thinks is right, he strives for the good in himself. The one who knows the due, but does not follow it, aspires to evil; doing nothing and doing wrong is the same thing for him, and it is the worst of evils. Knowledge without accomplishment is like food that cannot be tasted; therefore, the one who knows the due but does not follow it has no reason to rejoice but has reasons to grieve, for he has become worse than he was when he did not know. Knowledge must be perceived; if someone knows, but does not act, then this means that he has not perceived his knowledge – for true consciousness and due deeds are inseparable. Therefore, a person who has realized the need to do good, but mistakenly confuses good with evil is better than the one who knows the good but does not want to do it. The one who perceived the Truth does good. He will not stop his work; wherever and whenever he is – he will do what is due. He does not know small good because the entire Universe is contained even in the smallest thing that exists. And he knows that every good deed that he does is accomplished for the entire Universe at all times of its existence. Only true good has such properties, and only the one who does it is so powerful. And he knows that his grief, no matter how great it may be, is still much less than the good thing that he brings. Therefore, neither sorrow, nor personal grief, nor hardship can overthrow him, – for good nourishes him and gives him strength and it is stronger than anything that hurts him. The good that he does belongs to the entire Universe, and all the good that is done in the Universe belongs to him. Therefore, there is no evil capable of overthrowing him or resisting him, because if there were an evil equal to the Universe, then the Universe could not exist.» I said, «What you are talking about is so great that nothing compares to it.» He said, «I said what each of us should be like: and I spoke only about the possible and necessary. The time will come when each person will be like that; but for this, everyone must follow the path of knowledge and consciousness. This path runs through time, spaces and accomplishment; and it is such that it is possible and necessary for everyone to follow. One life in the world of matter is replaced by another; the appearance of people is changing, and the names, and so on; and even the race of sentient beings is not unchangeable for someone who has achieved a lot: but the proper path is one, and it always remains.» Then Amoselena took me with him, and we returned to the place where I found myself when I entered the building. From there he took me to another place, which was like the best of the places in the human world. It was beautiful as a majestic temple, a cozy dwelling, wild mountains, the womb of a forest, and a riverbank; and it was pleasing in many other different ways. Amoselena told me, «This is the best refuge; good accomplishment created it. Stay here so that your present body can have proper rest; when it is enough, I will know about it and will come for you.» Then he left; I stayed, rejoicing that the due was accomplishing.

ENON VIII

Sometime later, Amoselena came after me, and I followed him; and leaving this place was as pleasant and gratifying to me as it was to be there. Amoselena brought me back to the place like the top of a mountain. I saw that it was surrounded by a ring of light and brilliance; and I saw that they were people looking at me. I saw them, but I did not see how many there were, for there were not few of them nor many. And Amoselena told me, «These are those who created this abode of good, and what it is. I know that you cannot count them; the reason is that those of them who are not here now are present here, dwelling in their brethren. They see you, but you do not know if you see them – for your unity is more evident for them than for you.» Then Amoselena approached me and merged with me. And then I felt that part of myself merged with everyone who stood around us, and with those who were in this place through them. I saw the shape of each of them and recognized the name of each of them; and I learned their joy about me. And I felt a power so great that what I could feel was only a small part of it. Then Amoselena stepped back from me and said, «No one can feel more than he can feel, or do more than he can do. This place contains a lot; and although it is one and whole, nevertheless it is different in itself in many of its properties. You are such that you could enter here; but you are among the least of what is possible here. The small is one with the great; but there is a path of accomplishment in front of this small because it must acquire itself united with the great. Thus, you are the same now: being in strength and greatness, you must acquire yourself as it is. Although you are here, you must still grow in yourself to be able to grow up here later. What is happening to you now is only the beginning: there is no limit.» And then I felt the touch of each of those who were near us. From this touch, I felt power in myself that I had never known before, and about which I did not know any reliable words. I saw in those who touched me what was in me, and what was not in me, but what I could learn about, and what I did not know because I could not see it before. I saw a lot of that I had to achieve, and I learned how to acquire a lot of useful things. Then many of those around us left; Amoselena and six others remained with me. I looked at them, hoping to see the leader among them, the knowledgeable one, Onat, or someone else from the people I knew; but they were not near me. I asked Amoselena about them, «I saw the faces of those who were here and learned their names; but I thought that through ignorance I did not see among them those who were familiar to me. Now I see again that they are not here; where are they? After all, I learned from them; can it be that they are not here?» He replied, «Some of them were here; but now they are not here because they are completing their circle. And you should do it as well; maybe you will meet them along the way. But next to you is one of those who lived in your city before you and was one of the knowledgeable.» Then one of those who were beside spoke to me; his name was Orbalat. He spoke to me; and others also spoke to me. I learned a lot from them; and they even told me about their lives in the world of people. And then I realized that all the knowledgeable people, from the first one to the present, connected the times of people. That connection was all these times in one time, for what was created from matter changed and collapsed, and people changed, they were born again and again in the world of people, but Truth always dwelled in them. All the knowledgeable, good and right were doing one thing that had no limit in time and space; in that matter they united, seeing each other with their own eyes and feeling each other. Times and spaces merged in them, in all their fullness dwelling where there was anyone of them. I told Amoselena about that, and he replied, «Through the highest of the worlds we embrace everything. Therefore, if there is at least one of us in the Universe, it means that all times and spaces are united twice. The first time they are united in their essence, and the second time – through a sentient one.» Then he said, «You see the race of people; but remember also those who were before them in their world and other worlds. The human guise is temporary and transient, like any other, except for the last of the guises, which is one for all. The best of the best, who have abandoned the matter of their bodies, do not differ in their essence from those who are similar to them from other kinds of conscious beings. They are one, just as those whom you see here are one: and in this place, such people rise. Those who were the best in knowledge and action in the race of people at all times are united here; among those of whom I have spoken, the best kind of people are united with the best kind of other sentient beings. The oldest generations of sentient beings merge with the present generation of sentient beings; and all the best are one. They ascend from their abode into the upper world; their legacy leaves with him, but at the same time it remains with those who have not yet left, for they are one. The legacy of the former has become the legacy of the latter. Therefore, nothing is lost; and everyone who dwells there sees himself like everyone else, both from those who are there and from those who have ascended into the upper world. Each of them lives with all their lives in all their times, thus binding them with himself.» Then I said, «I want to see their abode.»; Amoselena replied, «I told you that no one can not do more than he is capable of. None of us can see it, for we block it from our gaze with ourselves; and we cannot find the way there when we are who we are. But the path of everyone who knows and follows the due good passes through it, and therefore everyone who has become worthy of this is called there. Our path knows no reverse flow: therefore, none of us will miss this adobe, everyone will be called there at the due hour. You will also be called there, as you were called here; but first, grow to achieve the light of the place where you are now, and grow even more. All people will be called here, and then – there, for the due path is one. From this adobe the great good is poured out, generating and building good in the world of people; from that adobe even greater good is poured out, generating and building good in many worlds. That abode takes in the generations of sentient beings, and accepts them entirely; and its power is not limited by anything except the laws of the Universe.» Amoselena said so; then I saw that those who were with us approached me. As they approached, they greeted me; then they left, and we were left alone. Then Amoselena told me, «It is good that it is happening now; but there is more to come. Now you cannot stay here, for you must complete your circle. Having completed the due, you will return here and remain here until the hour when you have to regain flesh in the world of people. But when you leave this place for the sake of other places, you will still be here with your part.» Then he said, «You know the place where you have experienced rest; choose: do you wish to visit it again before leaving or to experience a great burden for the good.» I replied, «I wish to experience the burden, – the desire for the good knows no pleasure, except for the good itself.» Then Amoselena led me to a place where I could see nothing but darkness; and my feelings were blind. There Amoselena left me. Then I felt a kind of great coldness within, which gave rise to great pain in me. And I did not feel myself in myself, but I felt that where I was, there is emptiness. I stayed around it and stretched out in spaces so great that I could not know my limits. And I did not know what I was – for I felt emptiness with myself; but I knew that emptiness did not exist in its essence, and therefore I doubted my existence, at the same time doubting my nonexistence, for I felt myself around emptiness. Then I experienced something so terrible that, in comparison with it, the most excruciating pain not only seemed barely perceptible but even seemed to be equal to the absence of pain. At that moment I realized that what seemed to me to be emptiness was not it, but only a state of Being close to it, and my very existence was only a small particle of the being of Being itself, but a particle that completely encompasses Being. And I began to flow into that part of myself that seemed to be emptiness; I filled it and flowed out of it while mixing with that part of myself that continued to flow into it. I was a whirlpool; and that which was flowing out was always hotter than the flowing in. And after a certain time, the great coldness of my like-emptiness turned into warmth; and there was no longer a different duality, but only a variety of unity. Then I saw myself and saw what surrounded me and previously seemed to be darkness was light. Then I realized that in every being there was another being, and darkness was seen only by the one who was not yet able to see the light that was superior to him. I understood why there could be no absolute emptiness or absolute darkness. And I also realized that absolute light also could not exist, for «absolute» means the «last», and the Being has no limit either in space or in time. And I also understood and learned a lot: I could not express some things with words, and something should not be expressed by me. Soon Amoselena appeared and greeted me. Then he said, «You chose the best of what was offered to you. You think that you have already seen and understood yourself as you are now: in reality, you still see and understand only a part of your present essence. Much more will be revealed to you within you; you hold within treasures that you have not yet discovered. But when you discover them, you will see that beyond them there are other treasures, more beautiful and precious; and beyond those – others will be revealed; and it will be like that many times. And until you find and appreciate the closest treasures, you will not be able to see and take others. And the more you exhaust yourself, the more inexhaustible will be within you. And you will never stop, whatever you are.» Then he led me along with him and brought me out of what was like a structure, but from the inside had no limits. And he told me, «Now you must go and wander in the spaces available to you: this is how you complete your circle. When it is completed, you will find the way here again through the call. Things you know and your skills will help you along the way – for you deserve it. Go straight, and soon you will find a place from which many roads diverge; do not be surprised, for it will only be a manifestation of what you have in yourself. Choose any of these paths, for none of them, is worse than the others for you. Go, learning and accomplishing: the more you learn and the better you accomplish, the sooner you will return here. Remember that knowledge is necessary for accomplishment. The one who knows the right thing, but does not do it, is worse than the one who does not know, for the one who does not know does not have a seed that he could grow, but the one who knows has a seed, but destroys it, not allowing it to bear fruit. Remember that knowledge and practice should not be separated. Everything that you meet, find and accomplish will remain with you; the rest will come in due time. Of all the dangers on the way, there is nothing worse for you than smaller you, locking you in what he thinks to be finite: overcome it to the best of your strength. Of all that helps on the way there is nothing better for you than greater you, in whom even smaller you are infinite: cultivate it in yourself to the best of your ability. Go; we will wait for you. But it is accomplishing in the way that we will all be with you because you are with us.» Then I saw that some of those whom I saw there came out of the abode and approached us. They greeted me – and I heard more voices than there were. Each of them told me their parting words – and all their words seemed to merge into a single speech. Then they returned to their abode, leaving us alone again. Then Amoselena told me, «Everything that we could give you, you have already received. Now take yourself with you and go.» Then he greeted me and said, «What you go for – you will find on the way; when you reach the goal, you will learn about it in the same way. Now it’s time: take a step.» I took a step, and then saw myself in a place that I had not seen before; and I no longer saw the former place and Amoselena, for I was far from it. The place in which I was was like a gorge in the mountains; and hot and dry winds blew over it. There were several people nearby, gazing at me with fear; I greeted them, but they did not answer me. I went ahead; but I saw that I was only barely moving forward, and the rocks on both sides were lowering as if sinking into the ground. Soon I went out into a hollow, closed on all sides by steep slopes; and in the direction I came from, it was the same; and even the passage through which I came was no longer there. And I was shaken by some great shudder; and then I saw that in the steeps around me there are now many ravine-like passages. And then I welcomed the due being done.

Translated by Amradkhari